on suicide watch.

So after dropping over 30k in a few days in Thailand, I really needed a good donkament score to pull me out of the funk. I usually only put myself through the pain of tournament ‘poker’ (el oh el) once a month, as that is all my weak constitution can take of that retarded form of torture.

But luckily for me (as I needed a big score), I had two tourneys today, the 1k Mansion 6max and the 1k Pacific WPC. I busted out of the Mansion tourney pretty quickly when my AK was no match for AJ pre. I then had some connection problems (thanks PLDT, you bunch of Neteller-style inbreds) which added to my tilt and demolished my little remaining stack.

I still had high hopes to save my April as the Pacific 1k WPC $3 mil guaranteed was on last night and expected to have huge overlay. I put in about 6 players into it on staking deals. I also bought shares in others and swapped with a few more. I was in this tourney for 11k total and had financial interest in 17 players (including myself).

As expected, the tourney was full of satellite donks. I spent a few hours folding Group 96 hands in flamboyant style, whilst racking my brain to come up with an activity more retarded than playing a Full Ring Tourney. Beastiality, water torture, starvation, religion, sleep deprivation and good old self-mutilation - all these activities were considered and dismissed as not even comparing to the pure and utter RETARDATION of a Full Ring Tourney.

Nevertheless, as I needed a big score to save my April, I fought on like a true tourney FR nit. I eventually pushed TT over the top of AJ, who instacalled and writing the result would be wasting valuable blog space, and also insulting your intelligence.

Out of the 17 players I staked, bought, swapped…0/17 cashed. I’m staring down the barrel of a negative 50k April and pretty sick of the endless inaneness.

If you don’t hear from me anymore, and the detectives find my bottles of Xanax and Stilnox empty tomorrow, there will be no need to suspect foul play….

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3 Responses to “on suicide watch.”

3 Comments »

1. So sick Jonny… even assuming the worst-case scenario that every player in the WPC was of equal equity… with the top 300 paying out of a field of 2100… then at least one in seven of your ponies should have cashed…

   But these were handpicked winning players… against a field of crapshoot satellite qualifiers…

   You run soooo bad…

   RIP StakingSTAT…

   Comment by Stick — April 28, 2008 @ 1:47 pm

2. Mate

   Live in the PHilippines myself. Have for the past 3 years. I have many good friends here from Oz, and quite a disturbing number from Queensland. If you’d like to hook up some time with me and the boys, let me know. We’re probably a bit older (wiser?), but we do tend to have a bit of a good time.

   We also play a lot of rugby here with the Manila Nomads. Personally, I live in Angeles City as the job took me here.

   You have the email.

   Comment by Jim — April 28, 2008 @ 5:21 pm

3. Damn philippines is so nice! I wanna go bac kthere and pwn the soft poker live scene. Traffic is horrible but the bitches are crazy hot!

   Comment by Jeff — May 1, 2008 @ 4:26 pm

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