sigh.

So I had Day 2 of the Mansion 1k 6max today. I had low hopes as I’m currently 8k below neutral on pokerEV all-in luck for March.

I won a 50k race with AK vs 88 early on though, which rocked me to my core. I honestly giggled like a super fish at such amazing luck. This is honestly like the first showdown I’ve won on a Day 2 of a tourney (out of like 20 showdowns probably - 15 of those were 70/30 or better in my favour).

Like a stupid, stupid donk noob, I thought “hello, I’m running GOOD - today could be my day!!”

I had a pretty soft table tbh, and was stealing blinds at will. I chipped up to about 140k without seeing a turn card when I opened UTG with AKs and a donk pushed his stack in with 77. I lose the 120k race and thought “ah that’s better”.

I chipped up again and got up to 110k when I opened AK again UTG and a big stack got it in with AQ. I won the 220k runoff there, and was very uncomfortable and embarassed at such amazing, ridiculous luck. Not long after, I had about 250k and was one of the chip leaders with 60 left.

The next 90min I didn’t see a pair or an ok Ax hand and the table got really ugly nitty. A guy with the username Stev0L_ (not sure if its Stevol from Aust) came to our table and put on a display of hilarious nittiness. He played 6/6 for 2 hrs. He opened the button and I woke up with the best hand I’d seen in an hour (KQo) and I put him all in as I figured such a nit would need a monster to call for his stack. Probably bad logic from me as he had AA and won that race, but its really not in me to fold KQ in SB to button openers who have 15bb.

I battled away for another 30min and finally found 99 on the button. I opened, SB 3bet, I pushed my 16bb in and couldn’t beat AA.

I finished 43 / 924 for 3.5k prize. At least I made some money for my silly ChipMeUp.com investors, who all obv hate money…

Posted in Random | 8 Comments »

forced update.

I’m probably going to move to Sth America next year, partly because I’m a bit bored here in Manila, but also because I think girls like this one above are known to live there. And I hope I can buy their love.

March has been pretty painful so far. I been working a lot on projects and playing quite a bit. Running bad ofc but winning small which which makes the gheyness of poker just tolerable. Overall, my life is as boring as a Woody Allen movie at the moment.

I’m paying penance for my Molten addiction of last month, and eating salads and fruit only now, which is really quite disgusting. The highlight of my day is picking through my evening fruit salad for bits of mango - I can’t even spice up the day with Xanax because my useless “friends” have stolen it all and my Mexican online chemist has charged my CC but apparently not sent the much needed re-up.

The bad news dear Blog Friends, is that I have nothing interesting on the horizon. Things are going to get worse at Poker Crack before they get better.

—-

I’m through to Day 2 again of the Mansion 1k 6max - I lose 90k in last hour of Day 1 though, so going through with 2x avg stack looking forward to hilarious Day 2 setups…

Posted in Random | 9 Comments »

big chipmeup.com result.

So, a week or so ago, I told you guys about Rayan Nathan’s new tourney staking site ChipMeUp.com. Some people who listened and bought shares in Rayan made some good coin today when he took the Absolute Bounty tourney for $30,000. Congrats Rayan, and nice work investors.

Rayan now has historical ROI of 106% with $240,000 winnings over 230 ChipMeUp tourneys.

————–

Where the f is Blade Runner when you need him ffs!

Posted in Random | 4 Comments »

underbelly tilt.

So dozens of Lost and Prison Break loving noobs have been hassling the crap out of me, telling me I HAD to watch this new show “Underbelly”. The way these jokers were attacking me gave me flashbacks to when Lost came out - I don’t know what it is about crap shows that makes people obsessed about sharing the crapness. But nh wp, I d/l the entire series and watched it.

If you can get past the hordes of ugly girls (what is the point in being a baller gangster if you can’t at least get cute crack hoes), almost unbelievably terrible acting, and painful, lazy, awkward scriptwriting…the story itself is relatively compelling.

The show is ostensibly about the Melbourne gang wars over the last decade. If you had listened to Australian media during this time, you could be forgiven for thinking these were baller gangsters smashing each other in a titanic Shakespearian blood war. The show (which I’m led to believe is relatively accurate) paints a very different picture. There was nothing special about these underworld figures, they were just dumb idiots with access to guns. Bring in Marlo from Baltimore and his team would clean out these retards in a flash. Fuk it, Omar would pwn these dudes by himself.

Basically, unless the show is factually wrong, they’re all a bunch of dopey morons. And the hitmen, none of them are doing anything interesting. The “hitmen” are getting paid just to kill their own friends and acquantainces. The logistics of killing people you know is remarkably easy. You know where they live, where they hang out, you walk up, “hi hows it going”, bang, walk off.

But the real tilt arrives when it turns out most of these huge “underworld figures” are busto broke. You have kingpin figures who don’t pay their own hitmen (hmm, if I need to explain why this is a bad idea, you’re in trouble) - and kingpin figures who can’t scratch together 50k to order a hit on someone they know is trying to kill them. Give me a break. If this is really true, these guys are pathetic. A half-decent coke dealer in Australia should be pulling in 200k a year, and I’m talking club level dealer. These guys are supposed to be at the top of the tree - ridiculous.

What I suspect is that the producers of this fine Australian (lol) tv drama are, actually, retarded. Because the alternative is that the Melb underworld over the last decade was ruled by stupid monkey idiots, and I find that embarassing as a patriotic Australian bogan.

Posted in Random | 6 Comments »

molten tilt.

Amber (aka ‘Cut-throat Bitch’): “Why do you believe that I have to have an ulterior motive?”

Dr. House: “For the same reason I believe that crack whores will have sex…for crack.”

———-

Until recently, I have never understood how or why people get fat. Then I discovered this Molten Chocolate Cake at a store near my place - I imagine its way better than crack and it’s definitely better than sex, if for no other reason than it takes me 6 minutes (I timed it) to eat a Molten Chocolate Cake, so it lasts 3x as long.

I’ve been ordering this Molten Chocolate Cake every day for over a month now, but lately a disturbing trend has arisen. There has been less and less Molten each time. Furious and in a panic, I called up the store to voice my concerns about the lack of Molten in recent orders. The manager and I had a bit of a fight about it, I accused him of being part of a conspiracy to steal my Molten - he, of course, denied. I told him he was a fool if he thought he was going to get away with it. He said no one has ordered as many Molten Chocolate Cakes as I have, and that he would never risk losing my business over a lack of Molten. He invited me to come down and watch the cake being made, to ensure the correct dosage of Molten was being injected into the cake.

Certain that they were diluting my Molten like a coke dealer cutting down his product with laxatives, I braved the tropical sun in the middle of the afternoon to take him up on his invite, and get to the bottom of the Molten Scam. The store is about 20m away, but after a few meters, the sun had started to take it’s toil. I don’t leave my apartment much these days, and when the sun hit my pasty white skin today, I felt exactly how a ginga must feel when faced with the cruel elements of nature. No wonder they are so ill-tempered all the time, the poor creatures are in pain.

Sizzling and feeling very much like a marshmellow at a bonfire, I staggered inside the store and told the manager I was here to investigate the Molten Conspiracy and punish the offenders. The manager on duty rolled his eyes at me, but I could see a mixture of guilt and fear inside his soul. At this point, I moved in for the kill and laid my cards on the table. I put it to him that he was either the one stealing my Molten or that he knew who the guilty party was. He denied knowing anything about it. I told him he could either save himself now by giving up the offenders, or risk being caught up in the Molten Vengeance. He stuck to his story, and contined to deny involvement. He then claimed to be a different manager to the one who promised me access to the Molting Process. A crafty ploy, and one I did not see coming.

I wasn’t fooled for a second, but he refused to allow me to access the kitchen. We both knew what I would find in there, dirty Molten theives. I told him even though I had a very low opinion of him, I had to respect his loyalty to his staff. He promised he would look into the Molten Controversy for me. I’m waiting by the phone.

Posted in Random | 1 Comment »

the best documentary ever.

“I’ve pointed out to Steve that he’s the person he is today because he came under the wrath of Bill Mitchell.”
- Billy Mitchell

A friend of mine recommended “King of Kong”, which I watched tonight. It’s about the dirty, shady, awesome world of competitive arcade gaming. It’s easily the best documentary I’ve ever seen.

The documentary follows the path of a school teacher who wants to break the Donkey Kong world record, held by a guy named Billy Mitchell, who is adored by the arcade gaming community - which it seems is mostly comprised of social misfits and officiated / regulated by a network of characters who are clearly insane.

These people take arcade gaming VERY seriously in that, for most of them, its more than mere obsession, its a lifestyle. Billy is almost the perfect freak, watching him deal with the torturous prospect of possibly losing his 20 year old Donkey Kong record is fascinating. He’s also aided by some arcade groupie minions who take great steps to ensure his record is protected.

Here is an interview with the documentary’s villain, Billy Mitchell - you’ll get an impression of the kind of guy he is. It’s pretty special. King of Kong is rated 8.4 on IMDB - I think it should be rated higher. It’s fantastic.

Posted in Random | 9 Comments »