a must-see movie…

I am quite the movie buff, and often take my time to instruct my poor unfortunate friend Franco about the quality or lack thereof of certain films. Franco is a dear boy with many fine qualities, however it became clear very early in the piece that he has almost no clue about movies or what makes movies great. He is a movie fish. Despite being exposed to a great deal of fine education, dear Franco listed Spiderman 2 on his Top Ten list.

What makes my chats with Franco entertaining is that he disagrees strongly with my obviously correct assessment of his critiquing ability in regards to movies. In his braver moments, he even goes so far as to imply it is I that has no idea what I’m talking about. LOLLER. What a riot. It’s always more fun to argue with someone who disagrees with you strongly, and is not a total moron like the jokers on PokerNetwork. I quite enjoy a good argument, and like to argue with people who aren’t retards, but usually all the smart people agree with me, which is obviously very frustrating.

However, even a Philistine such as Franco would agree that “All About Eve” is a must-see movie.

As I have zero life and completely fear online poker at the moment, I am working my way through some top 100 ‘classic’ lists. I’ve seen some good movies (Hitchcock’s are surprisingly entertaining), and some bad ones (”Annie Hall” - Woody Allen is on Strike 2 after his disappointing “Match Point”, which I didn’t enjoy very much, partly because I am not Scarlett Johansson-crazed like the rest of the world, but mostly because I just wasn’t that intrigued by the dialogue or premise).

It’s somewhat ironic that the premise of both “All About Eve” and “Match Point” are very similar. Both movies deal with a crafty character mixing with the more fortunate, attempting to improve their station in life. Yet All About Eve is adorable and glorious, whilst Match Point was a clear also-ran.

But this post is supposed to be all about All About Eve. After much discussion within myself (these matters are not trivial and must not be arrived at lightly), I have decided to place All About Eve 3rd on my all-time favourite list, behind A Few Good Men and Garden State and ahead of Full Metal Jacket and Amistad.

Before watching it, I had read some glowing reviews of All About Eve, but these are the same people who think Citizen Kane was the greatest movie of all-time. For the record, I thought Citizen Kane was ok, but I don’t think it deserves the plaudits it has received. As I was very bored, and had watched everything else, I decided to throw caution to the wind, clear my busy schedule and watch All About Eve. A few minutes into the movie, I was beginning to wonder if the Citizen Kane jokers had pulled another fast one. But then the magic began.

All About Eve is a pure delight. A complete classic, with star performances and brilliant, witty repertoire between the characters almost from start to finish. Bette Davis is sublime as Margo Channing, the neurotic but stubborn star facing both a mid-life crisis and a young fan who appears to adore her initially, but who shows her true colours in time. I really don’t know how to describe this movie adequately, but perhaps the highest accolade I can give it would be to argue that, if this movie were a novel, it would rank right alongside The Great Gatsby. Fitzgerald would be proud to have written it.

The star performances come from the three female leads (Bette Davis was nominated for an Oscar but didn’t win, which was a crime) and George Sanders, who plays the cynical and manipulative theatre critic Addison DeWitt (who did win an Oscar for this role). I do love to quote lines from movies and whatnot, but I wouldn’t know where to start with this movie. The whole movie is full of witty one-liners and comebacks, its just glorious. When Margo gets neurotic, jealous and angry, she is just superb with her vicious, witty sarcasm.

A young lady arrives half-way through the movie in a cameo role at a party and completely steals every scene she is in. I immediately fell in love with her, having no idea who she was. Upon research, I discovered the name of the young actress, you may have heard of her - Marilyn Monroe. I never really understood the obsession with Marilyn Monroe until just now. She is just adorable. In partnership with DeWitt, she delivers my favourite exchange of the movie:

[a butler passes by]
Miss Claudia Caswell: Oh, waiter!
Addison DeWitt: That is not a waiter, my dear, that is a butler.
Miss Claudia Caswell: Well, I can’t yell “Oh butler!” can I? Maybe somebody’s name is Butler.
Addison DeWitt: You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point.

And one more from DeWitt, after he finally makes his dramatic play for Eve at the end of the film, revealing his hole cards:

“Is it possible, is it even conceivable, that you’ve confused me with that gang of backward children you play tricks on? I’m Addison DeWitt. I’m nobody’s fool, least of all yours.

That I should want you at all suddenly strikes me as the height of improbability… you’re an improbable person, Eve, but so am I. We have that in common. Also a contempt for humanity, an inability to love or be loved, insatiable ambition - and talent. We deserve each other.”

——

They just don’t make movies like they used to - I’m going to watch it again….

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