Tournaments are retarded - Part 3

“Ain’t really no need to call you fine
I know you be hearin’ that all the time…”

Jimmy Fricke, who in my opinion, is far better-looking than Antonius, is running riot in the Main Event - he took out my boy Ville last night by calling all-in with K7o when Ville 3-bet pushed pre with 22.

The board came J-9-8-A-T and Fricke took the pot with a straight to eliminate Ville Laukkanen in 20th place with $60,000.

I know the money went in pre, but after the turn, Ville is looking so damn good to double up in a big pot. Fricken Jimmy puts his money in bad a LOT, and is knocking out players all over the place. He killed Nathan Bobik’s KK with TT, and knocked out Shaniac with an even sicker beat in a massive pot when all the money went in on a Q-high flop. Shaniac had QJ and Fricke had QT. Sick.

Ville under-performed, considering the cheer squad we formed to support him from the rail in the Vegas Bar. We remained to cheer him on in WW2-like conditions, being jostled by many people who probably could have showered before leaving their homes and we were forced to listen to many fascinating bad beat stories. I have included the best one here, as it’s too good to keep to myself:

The game is 2/3nl HE. Hero open-raises with AKo and is called in the big blind by QTs. The flop is Q-high and Hero c-bets and is called. The turn and river are both checked and Villian wins a massive pot. So sick.

Downing was exposed to the enemy flank on the rail (I was smart enough to protect myself behind a table). Downing was under solid jostling fire, and came off 2nd best in a tangle with a lady that probably could have skipped the desert bar at Sizzler last night and not wasted away from starvation - she made Jimmy Fricke look SVELTE. Poor Downing went down hard from his high stool, winding himself in the process. To the casual observer, it might have looked a lot like a (delayed) stage dive, but I can assure you it was nothing but a standard accident in a war-zone. These things happen.

Despite our disappointment in Ville getting eliminated in 20th place, he still picked up $60,000 - which is worth celebrating. We had a big night planned, but were detained in Vos’ room with various forms of gambling occurring. Downing and Adam Weiss were having some fun short-stacking 25/50nl and some 5/10plo. Downing was owning his opponents with a number of very slick moves - he slow-rolled AA after typing “hmmm” in the chatbox and then min-raising after a limper. pwned.

Vos was killing everyone is coinflip games and I went down a quick thousand to him before staging a magnificent comeback playing skill games. I can’t beat Vos in coinflips but, with the assistance of valuable team member Perry Friedman from Full Tilt, and the financial backing of Dimock and later Marcus Collins, we were able to steamroll Vos for a large amount. Vos kept trying to get us to martingale of course, but we are FAR too smart for that.

The damage was done playing Russian for $100 a point and this other game Vos invented in Fiji. We each get 15 cards and you have to make your best five 3-card poker hands, ranked from strongest to weakest. Perry was very, very good at this game, providing the bulk of our technical advantage, whilst I helped with the obvious spots and trash-talked and taunted Mark in the meantime. Perry even helped out with the trash-talking, throwing in some well-timed momma jokes. It was a very effective and, admittedly, quite a good-looking partnership.

As the NETeller founders just bent over the entire US poker-playing public by being too dumb to move out of the continental US, a large % of Full Tilt’s (theorectical) value was wiped out yesterday. Perry offered to sell me his shares in Full Tilt for $100, but I told him he was dreaming. I offered him a 6-pack and a tenner, but negotiations broke down when he asked me to continue the discussion with him in his room “over a bottle of champagne”. Yeah right, Perry - I wasn’t born tomorrow. I’ve fallen for THAT one before…

Miranda Kerr once invited me into her hotel room to “discuss her career”. Much to my chagrin, it quickly became clear that she was not, in the slightest bit, interested in discussing her career. She seemed more interested in discussing whether my pectorial muscles were perfectly formed or not (for the record, Miranda thought they were, but I think they could use a little more definition on the lower outside quadrants). No, business is best discussed OUT of the hotel room, in my opinion Perry.

Posted in Live Tournaments |

4 Responses to “Tournaments are retarded - Part 3”

4 Comments »

1. “I have included the best one here, as it’s too good to keep to myself:

   The game is 2/3nl HE. Hero open-raises with AKo and is called in the big blind by QTs. The flop is Q-high and Hero c-bets and is called. The turn and river are both checked and Villian wins a massive pot. So sick.”

   This is currently the lead car for funniest poker-related blog entry posted in 2007.

   Comment by Max — January 18, 2007 @ 6:07 pm

2. I disagree Max….
   This one is gold:
   “Jimmy Fricke, who in my opinion, is far better-looking than Antonius, is running riot in the Main Event”

   I love your work JV.

   Comment by Rob — January 19, 2007 @ 10:46 am

3. Jonny love your work.

   I am a big big gobbo fan and i really hope he can take down mr hansen.

   I am waiting eagerly for the huge face of mr fricke to be plastered all over crown poker room celebrating his achievements.

   Comment by Options — January 19, 2007 @ 7:12 pm

4. definitely a face for radio…

   Comment by admin — January 20, 2007 @ 2:21 am

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